The One Shot House!
by 763Boi
Summary: Welcome to The One Shot House! Leave suggestions if you want to your chapter on here!
1. Every Loud House Fanfics in a Nutshell

**_This is a parody of a fic i read so i thought, why not have this as the first chapter of my One Shot collection?_**

Lincoln was just waking up, "Ughhhhh i live with 10 sisters its so annoying oh my god look at me im such a victim oh woe is me!", Lincoln said as he went downstairs, only to spot Luan, and she was eating a pie. Lincoln was angry now, "HOW DARE YOU!", Lincoln screamed as he back-handed Luan. "What the hell dude!", Luna and the other sisters said as they appeared out of nowhere.

"WHAT DID I DO?", Luan said. "YOU ATE FOOD!", Lincoln screamed as everyone gasped. "HOW DARE YOU, YOUR FUCKER!", Lori screamed. "THATS IT I HATE YOU ALL OH LOOK AT ME BOO HOO HOO IM A POOR INNOCENT VICTIM OH WOE IS ME YOUR ALL ANNOYING IM RUNNING AWAY FOREVER!", Lincoln said as he pulled a suitcase filled with stuff out of his ass. "NO WE LOVE YOU!", Leni screamed. "NO FUCK YOU IM GONNA KICK ONE OF YOU NOW FOR EFFECT!", Lincoln screamed as he kicked Lynn into the steps.

"This is completely irrelevant but I scratched the van not Lincoln.", Lucy said. She then looked at Luan. "You made my brother run away im gonna go attempt suicide because itll get the fans more interested.", Lucy screamed and ran away. "LUAN HOW DARE YOU NOW IT'S TIME TO KILL YOU YOU DISRESPECTFUL PEICE OF TRASH!", Lana said as they beat up Luan.

"I cant beileive them oh woe is me im such a victim i cant beileive i stood for it for so long but i kind of miss them waaah!", Lincoln said as he ran back to the house. He walked inside, "Oh Lincoln were so happy your back were sorry we have randomly fallen in a forbidden love with you!", Lori said. "Well in that case.", Lincoln said as he took them all upstairs and banged there brains out.

 ** _XD THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE!_**


	2. Escape 1

**_10 years after Lincoln was kicked out_**

A man was walking down the street of Franklin Avenue. Who, you may ask, well, a man named Lincoln Loud. He has been living on his own for 10 years, he was kicked out the house by his family. But he had the courage to go back to the old house.

He was wearing a hat, it covered most of his hair, so he seemed it would be fine. He finnaly saw the house ahead, he walked up the steps, but froze infront of the door. He was still thinking about it, but he finnaly did it. He rang the doorbell as a woman with blondish-grayish hair answered. "Hello! You must be the student from the college Lisa hired. Come in please.", Rita Loud insisted.

He walked up the steps and into Lisas room, he tried to act normal, but on the inside, was freaking out about how much Lisa had grown. He walked up to her and shook her hand. "Hi, im Lionel.", Lincoln said as she shook it back. "Greetings, I am Lisa, well there is no time to loose, so lets get to work!", Lisa said. She was supposedly close to dinding a cure for cancer.

They were working on a serum, when all of a sudden, bubbles started to come up. "Oh no.", Lisa said, bracing for explosion, but nothing. "Lisa, you always forget the dinitrotuluene.", Lincoln said. "What?", Lisa said. "Uhhhh, nothing, ill be right back!", Lincoln said as he rushed out. He was about to walk into the bathroom, when out of nowhere, the other 9 sisters came out there rooms.

They looked at him, then began bombaring him with questions. Lisa came out and tried to explain but no one listened. Lincoln started to back up as they closed in, but the fell down the steps. They looked worried for a second, until the saw something that left them in shock.

Lincoln was confused for a bit, until he realized something, his hat was gone. His head was fully revealed, his platinum white hair and a cowlick. "Lincoln?", Lynn asked. He tried to speak before something fell out his pocket. A family picture. The sisters stared at the picture of them and 11 year old Lincoln.

Lincoln got up to his feet and ran to the door. The sisters began running down the steps, when Lincoln finnaly got the door open. He dashed outside and booked it down the street. He looked behnd him and saw them hot on his tail. He began running faster and faster.

He was still being tailed by his sisters, when he tripped and fell. The sisters caught up and began hugging and crying on him. But he escaped and ran the other way. He kept going and going until he dove behind a house. The sisters ran past the house as Lincoln walked back out the other side.

He was running down a street and made a turn. Until he smacked right into Leni. He tried to run but got tackled and hugged. He pushed her off and started crawling away until he bumped into the rest of them. They circled him and began hugging him and crying. He again, escaped and began to run.

Lincoln slid over a car and hopped a fence. He kept on running for what seemed like hours, until he finnaly reached his house. He ran inside and locked all the doors. "Fuck.", He said as he layed down on his couch and fell asleep.


	3. FOF Alt

Lincoln was walking through the park, enjoying the fall. Shen he saw 2 familiar people on the dock. Ronnie Anne and Clyde. Lincoln was about to run up and say hi, but then he saw something he thought he'd never see. Clyde and Ronnie Anne started to kiss. They continued until Clyde noticed Lincoln and freaked out.

They both stared at Lincoln as they he began to tear up. He started to cry on the ground as they both looked in shock. He began to run as they both chased after him. They reached the Royal Woods Bridge as Lincoln stopped in his tracks.

He stepped up to the railing of the bridge as Ronnie Anne and Clyde ripped him off of it. He got up and began to run the opposite direction. He finnaly got tired and sat down on a bench as Ronnie Anne and Clyde caught up. They just stared at Lincoln.

Lincoln started balling his eyes out even more. "Why does everyone I love completely disrespect me?!", Lincoln said as he started to shake. "You know what? Screw this! She said you were to much of a wuss for her! She needed someone who could actually fight!", Clyde yelled.

Lincoln stopped crying and looked at Clyde with pure anger. "You stole my girlfriend, you talk about my sisters, you hurt my pet, and now, YOUR INSULTING ME!?", Lincoln yelled as he punched Clyde in the stomach. Clyde was about to hit Lincoln but missed and got punched in the nose.

Lincoln kicked him in the chest and tripped him. He then picked him up and threw him on the ground. "You wanted someone who could fight, well then instead of cheating, dont underestimate me.", Lincoln said as he walked away.

 ** _Then the rest of Friendships on Fire happens, bla bla bla._**


	4. FOF Alt 2

***After Lincoln Sees Luan and Clyde*** "What the hell!?", Lincoln yelled as they turnt and looked at him. Lincoln ran at Clyde and punched him square in the nose he fell to the ground. "OK! EVEYONE DOWNSTAIRS! RIGHT FUCKING NOW!", Lincoln yelled as he dragged Clyde by his collar down the steps.

All the sisters except Luan didnt think it was Lincoln, so they went downstairs still naked. They walked down with smirks on their face. Until they stopped and stared at Lincoln, who was standing there tapping his foot. "Well, the cops will be here soon to take this bastard away.", he said as he kicked Clyde in the mouth. "And mom and dad are on there way home from Pop-Pops, I dont think theyll be happy.", he said again.

The sisters started to get mad, but right as Lori was about to speak up. The cops and the parents came inside. Lynn and Rita did not look happy. "GIRLS! GO GET YOUR CLOTHES ON! NOW!", they yelled as the sisters ran upstairs. After taking a small interagation of Lincoln, the cops contacted the McBrides and took Clyde away.

Lincoln sat in his room with his sound proof ear buds as his parents yelled at the sisters, who were grounded for 4 years (no joke).

 ** _Then the rest of Friendships on Fire happens, bla bla bla._**


	5. A Brothers Purpose

Lincoln was walking down the road with his best friend Clyde, when he heard an all too familiar scream. Him and Clyde ran ahead and Lincoln saw a sight he never thought hed see. He saw his sisters Lola and Lana, surrounded by 3 boys of his age.

"You call yourselves twins? You have nothing in common you stupid little bitches, I bet your daddy uses one of you for sex! Probably the dirty one, that would explain the scratchy voice!", one of the boys taunted as they all started to laugh. Lola and Lana began to swell with tears as Lincoln filled with pure rage.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!? YOU LITTLE PUSSY!", Lincoln yelled as he decked the boy in the mouth. Clyde ran over and took Lola and Lana across the street. The boys surrounded Lincoln with smiles on their faces. But Lincoln wasnt scared, all he saw was red.

One of the boys swung at Lincoln, and hit him in the mouth, but it didn't faze Lincoln. He kicked the boy in the chest and punched him in the mouth. The boy got up but got knocked out as Lincoln socked him right in the temple. The other boy went to run and tackle Lincoln, but Lincoln ran at him and grabbed him by the neck.

He punched him in the mouth and threw him to the ground, the boy ran but tripped and smacked his head on the concrete. The other boy kicked Lincoln in the mouth. Lincoln spit out blood, but grabbed the boy by the arm and swung him over his shoulder and dropped him. He then picked the boy up and threw him into the bench as it broke.

Lincoln spat on all the boys. "Fucking douchebags.", he mumbled as he walked away. He ran over to Lola and Lana and hugged them. "You guys OK?", he asked. "Yeah, but what happened to your face!?", they yelled as he looked in his phones camera.

"Eh, its just a couple bruises, as long as your safe.", he said as they hugged him harder. They walked home as Lynn was coming back from practice. "Woah, what the hell happened?!", Lynn said looking at Lincoln. "Lets just say no one will be picking on any of my sisters again.", he said as he, Lola and Lana walked in the house.

Clyde walked up to Lynn and pulled out his phone. "I think he learned a couple things from you.", he said as Lynn watched the video. "Damn, lets go! The others need to know!", she said as she grabbed him and dragged him in the house.


	6. Escape 2

Lincoln was laying down in his house, watching some TV when he heard a knock at the door. He opened the door and instantly froze. It was his sisters, all with flyers looking for him. When they saw him, there eyes widened. Lincoln instantly slammed the door as his sisters began trying to get in. He locked all the doors and windows and went up to the top window.

"If you douches dont leave, I wont hesitate to call the cops!", Lincoln yelled. "Just lets us in Linky! Weve missed you!", Leni replied. "Yeah right! So you can bombard me with questions and get on my nerves! Im a Navy Seal! OK?! I will have the police down here if you dont leave!", Lincoln yelled even louder. "Your a Seal?", Lynn asked. "Duh! Why the hell did you think I was in military clothes!", Lincoln yelled.

"Why did you leave?!", Lori asked. "YOU GUYS FUCKING LOCKED ME OUT OF MY HOUSE! I was fucking 11 years old! Your lucky I didnt call the police then, because mom and dad wouldve been arrested!", Lincoln yelled. "Were sorry! Just please! Let us in!", Lola said. "Thats it!", Lincoln said. He walked downstairs and opened his basement door. He had all of his military memoirs down here. Every weapon he used (the exact ones), his uniforms, acheivments, badges. But what he grabbed, was something different.

Lincoln opened the door just as his sisters were about to barge in. They were about to run in and get him, but Lori stopped them as she saw what was on his side. A fully loaded Colt M1911. "I wasn't kidding, of my property!", Lincoln said. "Thats it! Lincoln, your coming with us to-", Lynn said as she stopped, now seeing the gun in Lincolns hand. "Off... my... property... NOW!", Lincoln said as the sisters backed up. "Why dont you wanna talk?", Lana asked. "Because, your all dirtbags who broke the law.", he said, cocking the gun.

"But were sorry!", Luna said. "Your sorry, yet I was left with nobody but my friends for 5 years. And then when I had the chance, I joined the military so I could get as far away from you as possible.", Lincoln said. "You wouldnt fire that weapon anyway!", Luan said. "Oh really.", Lincoln said as he fired the gun in the air. "You wouldnt aim it at u-", Lucy was about to say, until she saw Lincoln raise the gun. "I will have you arrested for trespassing if you dont leave!", Lincoln yelled.

"But they cant because were family!", Lori said. "If you come on someones property or enter there house without permission, family or not, they will be arrested.", Lincoln said. "You've changed bro!", Luna said. "No, I havent changed, but my mind did. If anything, _you_ changed. You guys used to be sweet and caring sisters, but now your backstabbing monsters and criminals of the law.", Lincoln said. "So for the last time, get the hell off my property!", Lincoln yelled one final time.

"Were not leaving until we can talk!", Lynn yelled. "Yes hello, id like to report 10 tresspassers. 137 Treyband Avenue, Royal Woods, Michigan. Thank you.", Lincoln said as he hung up. The sisters were to busy in a circle to notice Lincolns call. A few minutes later, 2 police cars and an orange Chevy Impala pulled up. "Hey honey!", a womans voice said. "Daddy!", a little girls voice said to. The sisters eyes widened as they saw two people, a little girl, and an oddly familiar woman walk up to Lincoln.

"Hey Lindsey! Hey Ronnie!", Lincoln said. "You and Ronnie Anne are married!? And have a kid!?", Leni said in shock. "Srgt. Loud! Good to see ya! What seems to be the problem?", the police officer said. "These 10 girls, formerly known as my sisters, are trespassing on my property!", Lincoln said with his daughter on his shoulders.

"Well arent you the disrespective type! Thats not the way you treat the most important soldier of WW3!", the officer yelled. "Most important?", Lana asked. "Oh my god! How dumb are you! This white haired gentelman is the most important soldier of WW3! He soared through the ranks in a matter of weeks! He found key information on North Koreas nukes and led his team right to them! He managed to not only assassinate Kim Jong Un, but also redirect 5 nuclear bombs towards a party of battleships off the coast of Australia! Thus ending the war!", the officer yelled as the sisters mouths were dropped.

"So if you dont get off this mans property in a matter of seconds, you will be placed under arrest!", the officer said. The sisters just slowly walked away, now knowing all this information. "Thank you for your assist officers, here ya go.", Lincoln said as he passed them both 2 100 dollar bills. "I salute you soldier, see you around." one officer said as they both got in there cars and sped off. "Now that thats dealt with, who wants to go out for lunch?", Lincoln as his wife and Lindsey got excited. Little did they now, they were being followed.


	7. Fuck With Family, Fuck With Me

Lincoln was laying down, enjoying the day. Until he heard crying, he got up just as Leni burst through the door. "Leni! What the hell happened!?", Lincoln said with a worried look. Her dress was torn, she had 2 missing teeth, there was a bruise on her cheek, and an open wound on her arm. "Its- its nothing Linky.", she said. She tried to walk away, but Lincoln grabbed her. "No Leni, someone did this to you! Now tell me who did it!", Lincoln said with angry eyes.

"Its- its Clark! He got mad at me for accidentaly denting his car!", Leni said pouring out more tears. The others heard this and ran down to help, they were all pissed. But not on Lincolns level, "MOTHERFUCKER!!", Lincoln yelled as he walked out the door. The others heard a branch break as Lincoln just broke it. They went to get him, but Lynn stopped them.

Lincoln walked down the street. He passed some of his friends, but he didnt give a fuck. He stomped down to Clarks house and practically broke the door knocking on it. Clark opened it and was about to say hi to Lincoln, but Lincoln kicked him in the chest. Clark got up, now angry, but Lincoln wasnt phased one bit. Lincoln punched him in the stomach, which knocked the breath out of him. Lincoln took this as a chance and pounched him. Lincoln wasnt stopping.

He was delivering several blows to the 16 year olds face. He took one final punch to the temple, then Clark went limp. Lincoln still wasnt done. He dragged Clark by his leg all the way to his house. When he got there, he burst the door open and threw Clark inside. The others came down and gasped in shock at Clarks appearance. Leni came down, still crying, but froze when she saw Clark. She started to scream as Lori grabbed her. "Whats wrong!?", Lori said, worried. "Hes gonna hurt me even worse!", she said. Clark was becoming concious again.

"YOU TOLD!?", he yelled as he ran at her. The other sisters were about to stop him, until they saw a boy jump infront of Clarks fist. It was Lincoln, he spit on the floor, and no blood. The others were about to back Lincoln up, but instantly stkpped when they saw a foot connect with Clarks head. The others gasped as they saw him collapse to the ground, limp. Lincoln dragged him outside and threw him off the porch. He came back inside, walked upstairs, and slammed his door. The others were about to go thank him, until they realized he was still angry. "THAT LITTLE BASTARD BETTER NOT COME NEAR MY FUCKKNG FAMILY AGAIN!!!", they heard him yell.

 ** _Well shit, I only made this cuz this exact same thing happened to me yesterday. NO JESUS! I wasnt the one hitting my sister! Im not a monster! But my sisters douchbag ex was, and he got a couple servings of shut the fuck up, so anyway, PEACE! P.S. New chapters for every story tommorow!_**


	8. Escape 3

Lincoln, Ronnie Anne, and Lindsey were at Burpin Burger. They were sitting down enjoying their meal, when a familiar man walked up to them. "Hey Sarge, long time no see.", the man said. Lincoln turnt around looking confused, until he saw who said it. "Is that you Private Lucas?", Lincoln said. "Who the hell do I look like?", Lucas said as Lincoln got up. "How convinent, id like you to meet my wife and child, Ronnie Anne and Lindsey!", Lincoln said.

"So thats one of your platoon members?", a womans voice said. Lincoln was about to reply, until he realized who said it. He turnt around and was grabbed by one of his former sisters. They literally tried to pull him out of the booth. Ronnie Anne turnt aroind and punched her in the face. Luna fell back holding her nose, which was gushing blood. "THATS IT!", Lincoln yelled. They got their food and put it in a bag.

Lincoln picked up his daughter and put her on his shoulders. "Lucas, ya need a ride home?", Lincoln asked. "Yeah, thanks.", Lucas replied. "Where are you guys going?!", Lori asked. "Im giving Lucas a ride home, then moving to the next town over.", Lincoln said. "Why!?", Luna asked. "Why! Please, you sound like a moron! This couldve been avoided if you realized one thing, I never, want to see, you guys, again!", Lincoln yelled. "Then why did you come to the house?", Leni asked. "Curiosity got to me, and it threw me down a pit.", Lincoln said as the 4 walked outside.

 ** _Sorry if its so short, merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!_**


	9. Don't Fuck With a Loud

**_Eh, I read a story like it called "Dont cuck your best friend" and decided to make my own version because why the hell not!_**

Lincoln sat down on the couch with Ronnie Anne next to him. His best friend Clyde was on his other side. "So, Lame-O, what movie are we watching?", Ronnie Anne asked. "Its the new Star Wars movie!', Lincoln said. They were all alone, or so they thought. "So, where are the snacks?", Clyde asked. "Dangit! I knew I forgot something! Imma go to the store, dont you dare start this movie while im gone.", Lincoln said as he left.

Ronnie Anne was just about to get up and go to the bathroom, until Clyde pushed her back. "Hey Ronnie Anne, have you and Lincoln ever done anything?", Clyde asked. "What do you mean?", Ronnie Anne said, "Ya know, sex?", Clyde said again. "Not yet, but I hope to soon.", Ronnie Anne replied. "Then why wait, I bet im bigger than him.", Clyde said. "Yeah right! You probably have a micrope-", Ronnie Anne said until she was interrupted. Clyde pulled down his pants and revealed 5 inches. "Ha! I told you!", Clyde laughed. Ronnie Anne was about to decline, but she fell under his spell. Soon enough, they where fucking. And Lisa saw the whole thing on camera.

1 day later, "Lincoln, I have some terrible news to tell you.", Lisa said while entering Lincolns room. "What is it Lis?", Lincoln said, sitting up. Lisa showed Lincoln the video, and she saw Lincolns perfectly calm face, to heartbroken, meloncolly face. "Lisa, just, leavr me alone for a little bit.", Lincoln said as Lisa left. Lincoln began to ball his eyes out, hard.

Lori walked into Lincolns room, annoyed from his crying. "Whats wrong Lincoln, your getting in the way of precious texting time!", Lori said. "Ronnie Anne, she, she, she cheated on me with Clyde!", Lincoln cried out as Lori's eyes widened. "She WHAT?!", she yelled out with anger. That just made Lincoln cry harder, Lori sat on Lincolns bed and held him. She took out her phone and texted Bobby.

 _Hey babe! Whats up?_

 _Hi Boo-Boo Bear! Let your sister know shes dead to me!_

 _What?_

 _Yeah! She cheated on my brother with that fuckface Clyde! Im literally holding Lic while hes crying his eyes out!_ _WHAT!?_

 _Yep!_

 _Are we going to get back at em?_

 _Definitely!_

 _So, how are we playing this out?_

 _I say we invite your sister over, then tie her up, then invite that little creep, and tie him up to, then, youll find out what!_ _Good idea!_

 _See you soon!_

 _Se ya babe!_

"Dont worry Linc, we got ya covered.", Lori thought, Lincoln fell asleep in Loris arms. Soon enough, the day came, and Lincoln went to Clydes house. "Hey Clyde! Wanna come over?", Lincoln said. "Sure bro! Ill be out in a sec!", Clyde replied. He dame back out with a bag of comics. "Alright, lets go!", Clyde said as he and Lincoln walked down the street. Lincoln stopped in his tracks and let Clyde get a little infront of him.

Then, as Clyde was about to say something, "This is for fucking my girlfriend.", Lincoln said. "Wha?", Clyde said, he turnt around as Lincolns fist smashed into his jaw. Clyde fell to the ground in pain as Lincoln kicked him in the head as hard as he could, knocking the boy out instantly. Lincoln dragged Clyde all the way back to his house and into Loris room. Where he was met with Ronnie Anne, Bobby, and Lori.

They put Clyde in a chair and taped him down, and oushed him right next to Ronnie Anne. "Wake up fuckwad.", Lincoln said as he kicked Clyde in his balls. Clyde instantly woke up and cried with pain, which was muffled frim the tape covering his mouth. Clyde looked around and saw Ronnie Anne tied up to, and he saw Bobby and Lori, he was about to faint until Lincoln kicked him in the balls again.

"You pass out again from my sister, I will beat you so hard youll look like fucking mashed potatoes.", Lincoln said as Clyde began to cry. "So tell me you fuckface, why the hell did you fuck my girl?!", Lincoln yelled, making everyone in the room flinch. No answer, but Lincoln wasnt taking it. He kicked Clyde in the chest, causing his chair to fall back. Clyde smacked his head on the floor as he cried out with pain again.

"TELL ME GODDAMMIT! YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS TO TELL ME BEFORE I FUCKING KILL YOU!", Lincoln yelled as Lori and Bobby held him back. Lincoln toor the tape off his mouth. "I just needed relief! You always got all the girls! And Ronnie Anne is so cute, I couldnt help it!", Clyde cried out. Lincoln just stood there, his left eye was twitching, badly. Lincoln kicked Clyde in his stomach to the point where he couldnt breathe.

"And you!", Lincoln said as he turnt around and faced Ronnie Anne. "Why did you even want to cheat on me?! Did I do something wrong?! Am I not good enough for you?! Remember last Valentines Day where we swore we would be together for life? Well thag can all go fuck itself! Just tell me, why!?", Lincoln yelled. "I dont know! I was seduced! I couldn't help it! He was so big! And I didnt think you where big!", she cried.

"Oh, im not now?", Lincoln said as he pulled down his pants. Everyone in the room gasped in shock, the boy was 11, yet he had fucking 10 inches of man meat on him. "Oh my...", Lori said under her breath. "Hes bigger than me.", Bobby said in his mind. Ronnie Anne felt like a total idiot now. "Oh you want some?", Lincoln asked as Ronnie Anne frantically nodded her head. "To. Fucking. Bad.", he replied.

Lincoln then introduced the girl who had just walked in. "Oh Ronnie Anne, I believe youve met Cookie before. Well guess who shes dating now?", Lincoln said as he kissed Cookie. "Oh and Clyde, you get to watch me do the thing youve only dreamed of!", Lincoln said. Clyde didnt know what that meant, until it hit him. "Yup, im getting a double!", he said. Before Ronnie or Clyde could say anything, Cookie had practically knocked Lincoln onto Lenis bed.

Ronnie Anne kept on shaking the chair she sat on, trying to get Lincolns attention, but he didnt care. Lincoln layed down and took whatever Cookie gave him. Ronnie Anne was balling her eyes out at the sight, she wanted to make Lincoln feel that way. She bounced her chair over to Clydes and slammed it into his chair. Clyde fell to the side and smacked his head on the ground, knocking him out again.

When he woke up, he saw RonnieAnne laying next to him on a couch. "It was all a dream!", he said, but then Ronnie Anne woke up just as Lincoln walked in the door. Lincoln sat there, eying both of them. He looked at Ronnie Anne, then looked at Clyde, and sat down and cried. Ronnie Anne got up, but Clyde stopped her. "You still think he's worth it?", he said. Ronnie Anne looked at him with pure rage.

But when Lincoln stood up, oh man, did that little fucker regret it, you could say Lincoln wouldnt trade this moment for the world.


	10. Update (Redo)

Hey guys! Its ya boi, 763Boi, here with another update! So today we are talking about some of my plans for this year and some new stories to come out soon! So lets get to it.

1\. Tomorrow is the day, the final chapter of Friendships on Fire comes out. We finnaly put a rap on my most popular story! Thanks for the love,

2\. I have so many new chapters for new stories! I have one called, "Bottled Up", which is a HUGE twist on BloodKirbyUnleashesed's, "Fury Of Lincoln Loud". Another called, "The Incident", where when the sisters kick Lincoln out of the car in, "Making the Grade", he ends up getting shot.

3\. Sad news, my house burnt down :D. Not a joke, I have another house now cuz that was like 3 weeks ago, but still sad.

Confirmed Stories Coming Soon!

1\. Paranormal Power Hour! Release Date: 2-1-18

2\. Gone Like A Loud (Shoutout to Bongani King Jr.)! Release Date: 2-2-18

3\. The Miraculous Adventures of Lila and Lincoln! Release Date: 5-12-18 (My birthday :D)

4\. Peace and Privacy (Shoutout to TheBodaciousE)! Release Date: 3-3-18

And another thing, go checkout these writers for the inspiration that drives me to even write these stories.

Flagg1991

AbberantScript

That Engineer

TheBodaciousE

TheLivingMyth

Geo Soul

nightmareking

TheLynnster

Lentex

PoochPower

Nostalgiah

The 21st Century Pendragon

Frost115

AcropolisGD

FumaFam101

Devumaru

King Genocide

Bleeding Wings

And as always, I will see all you guys in the future! Thanks for the support and see you in the next chapter!


	11. Lincolns Roastfest P1

Lincoln has been fed up with doing all his sisters chores when his parents were gone. So he just sat down and watched TV, "In the Loud house, someone is always trying to take advantage of you, so you have to be wise to get around here.", Lincoln explained to the 4th wall.

"Lincoln, are you going to clean my room?", Luna asked. "No.", Lincoln said. "You dont get to say that, come on!", Luna said again. "Shut the hell up with your paper clip earings! You cant boss me around just because our parents arent home.", Lincoln yelled as he heard a row of gasps.

"Lincoln! If you talk like that to one of us again, I will literally turn you into a human pretzel!", Lori yelled. "Yeah right, are you trying to get me to file a police report for domestic abuse? I mean, if you want to go to jail then by all means, be my guest.", Lincoln said.

The sisters just sat in awe. "Lincoln, why are you being so mean?", Lana asked. "Oh im being mean?! Every time mom and dad are out, you guys just force me to do all your chores!", Lincoln yelled. "Well we have stuff to do!", Lori retorted. "Oh my god, shut up with your Dollar Store earings! I have stuff to do to! All you do is talk to your oh-so precious boyfriend!", Lincoln yelled with venom in his voice.

"Well atleast we dont read books in our underwear!", Luan yelled. "Says the one who almost killed me on April Fools day, remember when you launched me off the roof? Oh that was great! Thanks for breaking my spine!", Lincoln said. Luan just stared at him as tears began to form in her eyes. The sisters just stared at him, "If you think roasting us will harm us then your wrong!", Lynn yelled.

"Dont get me started on you! You dirty ass bitch! Sitting here smelling like krusty socks and sweaty vagina! No wonder no boys want you, YOU look like one! Sitting here acting all tought and beating on your siblings and shit, come on now! If you dont get dat ass out here, ill flame you so hard you piss yourself, now fuck off!", Lincoln yells. Lynn runs off, crying her eyes out. "Thats it! Lincoln, your dead!", Lori yelled as she stomped over to him.

But before he she could reach him, Lincoln oulled out his phone. "Take one more step and I'll send you to court.", Lincoln said. Lori backed up, "Your a doucebag Lincoln.", she said. Lincoln then began to rise in the air like a boy looking at a latina, he then took in a deep breath as the sisters quivered in fear.

"E, this goes out to you. LORI, BRING THAT NASTY ASS HERE! SIT THE HELL DOWN YOU DIRTY BITCH, OUT HERE IN YOUR FUCKING MOMS GIRDLE! LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR DOLLAR STORE EARINGS! BOBBY RIPPED YOU OFF! OUT HERE WITH THAT BRICK OF A FUCKING PHONE, LOOKING LIKE A FUCKING TRAFFIC CONE AND SHIT! DONT GET ME STARTED ON YO OUTFIT! OUT HERE IN SOME FUCKING JORTS 24/7! I COULD PUT YOU IN A BIKINI AND YOUD STILL LOOK LIKE YOUR GONNA DO SOMEONES FUCKING TAXES! **(Whoever gets that reference is a total beast)** I HAVE NO IDEA HOW CLYDE IN LOVE WITH YOU AN SHIT, AND YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND?! YOU PROBABLY SUCKING HIM OFF EVERY NIGHT JUST TO GET HIM TO STAY WITH YOU! NOW IF YOU DONT GET YOU AND YOUR SHITTY SELF OUT MY FUCKING FACE, YOULL BE ROASTED SO FUCKING HARD, YOU GON BE HALFWAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY TO JUMP OFF THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE, NOW GET THE FUCK OUT MY FACE!", Lincoln roasted.

Clyde burst in like the Kool-Aid man with a angry look. "What did you just say to my love?!", he yelled as he threw his arms up weakley. "Fuck outta here nigga!", Lincoln yelled as he roadhouse kicked Clyde across the face. The other sisters sat down in fear of their brothers presence. "Its either you go in your rooms and shit the hell up, or you get roasted to the fucking max, now fuck out my face you dirty hoes.", Lincoln said in a tone that sent the sisters running.


	12. Lincolns Out

Lincoln sat down on his bed with a comic in hand. After finishing, he hopped out and saw Luan reading something. "Hey Lu, watcha reading?", Lincoln asked. Luan freaked out and closed her laptop, "Uh, nothing Linc, its uh.", Luan said as Lincoln snatched the laptop.

He opened it up and saw HUNDREDS of files of loudcest fanfiction and art. Luan looked at Lincoln as he dropped the laptop. "Fuck this shit im out. Mmmmmm hmmmm. Fuck this shit im out, no thanks! Dont mind me, imma just grab my stuff and leave, s'cuse me please. Fuck this shit im out, NOPE! Fuck this shit im out, alright then! I dont know what the fuck just happened, but I dont really care. Imma get the fuck up outta here, FUCK THIS SHIT IM OUT!", Lincoln sang as he walked away.

Lori then walked down, "Hey Luan, can you get so- WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!", Lori yelled as she saw the pictures. She then saw Lincoln walk backwards out the door with his eyes wide. Lori did the same thing, and as the rest of the family came down, they did the exact same thing.


	13. Lincolns Out 2: Quiet Kid Drama

Lincoln sat down in his shitty ass classroom with his shitty ass classmates, apart from Clyde. But there was always one kid that was just so quiet, Adrian. He was always so quiet, yet he seemed like a nice guy. Lincoln knew that Adrian was bullied alot, but he decided it was time to have some fun.

Lincoln shot up and walked over to him, "Aye, why you so quiet? Yo girl aint smashin or some shit?", Lincoln said. "Leave me alone.", Adrian replied, "Im sick of this shit.", Adrian said again. Lincoln looked at him like The Bodacious E did Flagg1991 in Flagg The Pathetic Loser chapter 6. "BOI! Get yo ass out of here with that rip-off trench coat!", Lincoln said as he threw his binder at him and left.

But in the middle of class, Adrian started humming something, something so familar, a meme. He was humming Pumped Up Kicks. Then Lincoln turnt around and saw him mouthing the words, while, REACHING FOR HIS BAG!? "OH SHIT!", Lincoln yelled as he ran out the class. Everyone looked at Adrian, and even the teacher, ran out. Adrian pulled out a pack of gum, and looked confused when he saw no one in the class.

 ** _That was hilarious, never trust the quiet ones guys, youll have to re-live Columbine._**


	14. Bottled Up

Lincoln was sitting in his room, shaking. He had been doing this for 30 minutes already, why you ask? Well, thats because of his sisters, they started getting him in trouble and blaming everything on him. And his parents werent doing anything, just telling him to, "stop yelling at his sisters!", he was mad, but not to mad... yet.

Lincoln walked out of his room and downstairs, he sat down on the couch and turnt on the TV, his favorite show came on while he held onto the remote. Then Lynn came downstairs, "Alright, Lincoln, hand over the remote.", Lynn said. "No.", Lincoln replied. "Excuse me?! I said hand it over!", Lynn said, getting mad. "I had it first, deal with it.", Lincoln said.

"Well it dosent work like that now!", Lynn said as she snatched the remote. Lincoln got up and snatched it back, "I said no!", Lincoln said. Lynn took the remote and shoved him off the couch. Lincoln walked over to the tv and unplugged it. "If your gonna be a dick about it, you arent gonna fucking watch it!", Lincoln yelled as he stomped upstairs, but before he got to the top, his parents called him down.

"Lincoln! You cant do that!", Lynn Sr. yelled. "I HAD THE REMOTE FIRST!", he yelled back. "Dont yell at your father! Your grounded! You cant be doing this to your family!", Rita yelled. Lincoln had enough, he started to turn red, and sweat. Everyone watched as the boy collapsed to the ground. They saw him begin to tear up, but these were tears of anger. He began to grip his fists, hard, to the point where he was cutting into his hands with his nails. The sisters backed up in fear.

The young boy started hyperventilating, but that soon enough turnt into muttering small sentences to himself. Luan walked up to him and reached her hand out, but Lincoln smacked it away. But what really scared them was the remain of blood on her hand. But Lincoln had no way to let out all this, it was either do it and get grounded, or dont do it. Lincolns mind swirled, everything hurt, he eventually stopped breathing and just sat there, still looking like before.

"Lincoln?", Lori stuttered. Lincoln eventually stood up, turnt around and began to shoot angry glares at his family, all while tears of pain and anger poured out of his eyes. Lincoln clenched his teeth in pure anger as he began to walk to his parents room. They followed him, but looked shocked to see Lincoln rummaging through their parents drawer, he pulled out a Vietnam timed revolver. Lynn tackled her brother to avoid him doing what he was about to do.

Lincoln just curled up in a ball and sobbed, his mouth and hands bleeding, and his mind in tangles. The Louds heard slight sentences coming from him, "C- ca- calm down.", he tried to tell himself, but he couldnt do it. He just sat there in a mix of blood and tears, until he fell unconscious and layed limp on the floor.

Lori instantly dialed 911 as Lynn picked Lincoln up and layed him on the bed, she kept trying to wake him up, but he wouldnt. He was still breathing, but his heartbeat was spiking. When the ambulance got there, they took Lincoln away, but gasped in horror as his appearance. Only one parent was aloud with him, so Rita went, but all the other sisters and Lynn Sr. stayed.

 ** _Before we continue on this horrible masterpiece, lets pay remembrance to the stofies that didnt cut it._**

 ** _As Guilt Flew Over The Loud House_**

 ** _The Tragedic Days Of Royal Woods_**

 ** _SNOW More White Hair!_**

 ** _The Dark Truth_**

 ** _Lincs Back_**

 ** _The Great Fame of Lincoln Loud_**

 ** _A War Faced Loud (Original idea for A Loud to War)_**

 ** _Now returning to... Bottled Up!_**

 ** _Just kidding, that was the end of this chapter, this arc will continue, dont worry._**


	15. The R Word

Lincoln walked up to his room and saw Luan in her room, and her boyfriend of 2 years, Benny. Lincoln walked in to say hi, but instantly froze. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU TOLD!? YOU FUCKING BITCH!", Benny yelled. Lincoln instantly filled with rage, he walked into Lynns room and grabbed a little something something for that douchebag.

He heard more yelling as he stood there, then he heard a loud slap and the scream of his sister. Lincoln kicked down the door and swung the object in his hand, a baseball bat. Benny flew back and fell through the open window, Lincoln looked down and saw the boy laying there, gripping his head in pain. "CALL MY SISTER A BITCH AGAIN, I FUCKING DARE YOU!", Lincoln yelled as he slammed the window shut.

Luan was about to speak up, but Lincoln was not taking it. "You break up with that son of a bitch before he gets worse. No one, and I repeat, NO ONE, calls any one of my sisters a bitch. Now tell me why he was so mad.", Lincoln said in a stern tone. Luan managed to choke out a few words, which made Lincoln almost explode with fury. "He- he- he raped me.".

 ** _Im sorry guys, this will be it until like 2 weeks, I have to go down to Florida to visit my cousin, she went through the shooting in Parkland and I wanna be there for her. And to whoever thinks im lying, go fuck yourselves. You dont know what its like in that situation, and ill be damned if anyone has the nerve to step to me. Boot camp for almost 4 years now, so piss off you fucking bitches._**


	16. Nappy Headed Freak

**_Funnest chapter ever, hope you guys enjoyed, also, be sure to go check out my new fanfiction account, 763Mia._**

Clyde opened the door of The Loud House and walked inside, he saw Lori and Lincoln on the couch while Lincoln hugged Lori. Bobby broke up with her because of another girl, and Lynn was out to find that girl. "Dont worry my love! Im here!", Clyde shouted out with glee.

Lori looked up, but tears still flooded her eyes as she knelt back down, sobbing harder. "Dude, what are you doing here? I told you today wasnt a good day.", Lincoln said. "Im here to show Lori how great I am!", Clyde said. Lincoln looked at him, "Not a good time.", Lincoln said sternly. "Its now or never, now out my way.", Clyde said. Lincoln had just sat back down, but instantly shot back up. "Clyde! You think your great?! My lovely sister is facing one of her worst nightmares right now, and your here trying to get in her pants you sick freak!", Lincoln yelled.

Clyde looked at Lincoln with eyes of rage. "Shut up! Shell love me!", Clyde said. Lynn walked in, about to say something, but then she saw her brother with his fists drawn, and Clyde in the same. "You wanna go?! Your a fucking pussy! The last time you fought, you got your ass knocked out! This wont be different!", Lincoln yelled. "Whats going on!?", Lynn yelled. "Mr. Lemme Fuck Your Sister is over here trying to get Lori after she just faced a fucking break up!", Lincoln yelled.

Lynn looked at Clyde, and was ready to pounce, but Lincoln stopped her. "Oh no Lynn, this bitch is all mine.", Lincoln said. "But you dont know how to fight!", Lynn said. Lincoln handed Lynn his phone, and she looked in the gallery to see a video, she watched it, and it turned out to be a fight in the classroom, him versus Chandler.

She looked up at Lincoln, and nodded. Lincoln turnt around to see Clyde with a face of distress. Lincoln smirked as he charged at him, Clyde threw his arms up and was about to swing, but Lincolns fist of iron collided with his nose. Clyde flew back and slammed into the wall, but Lincoln wasnt finished, he slammed his knee into Clydes dick, making him remove his hands from his face and to his crotch. Lincoln then delivered several blows to Clydes face.

Clyde then punched Lincoln square in the head, making him grunt in pain. Lincoln picked Clyde up by his nappy ass hair and slammed his head into the wall, then kicked the bitch outside in the dirt. Clyde skid through the door, but stood back up. "I- Ill fight for love!", Clyde said as he stomped back up the steps, but Lincoln didnt see that happening.

Clyde burst in and ran over to Lori. The rest of the Louds came in from the store, only to see Clyde trying to kiss the blonde. He was in pretty bad shape, and Lynn explained everything. They were about to go get him, until a familiar white-haired boy popped out of nowhere and jumped in the air, pulled of a 360 spin, and kicked Clyde dead in the face.

Lincoln was losing it, he started delivering hard hits to the chest, he kept going until the Louds heard a loud, *SNAP!*. Clyde screamed in agony as Lincoln stood up, he spat on his bitch ass and walked up the steps.


	17. A Tragedy at Royal Woods Middle School

Lincoln was sitting down out front of his school for the free time. He just sat there, watching. But then he saw a car pull up, normally, he thought it was a student or teacher thaat was late. But then he saw 2 men get out and walk to the trunk. Lincoln watched as they pulled out to duffle bags, but instantly stood up when one pulled out 2 full-auto rifles.

Lincoln stood up and ran into the school, yelling shooter. Everyone began to hide, but it was free time, so everyone was in the halls. Nobody took him seriously, until they saw a man walk down the back of the hallway and aim the rifle. Lincoln ran in the other direction, he heard gunshots, but didnt dare look back. He ran towards the cafeteria where the 8th graders were eating and yelled about the shooters.

They all got up and looked around, then one of the men came from the back door and aimed the barrel of the gun. Lincoln stood still, "RUNNNNNNN-", Lincoln yelled until he was cut off. The people began to run in terror, leaving the boy. Lincoln turnt around and just barely dodged a bullet to the side. He ran to the nearest exit, but it was blocked. He ran up the steps and into the library, and tried to jump out a window, until he felt it. A bullet flew into his back and then his stomach, to which the boy fell out the window and hit the ground.

The Loud Family Residence

"Why are you girls home so early?", Rita asked as her 5 older daughters walked in. "Remember? Were all going to Pennsylvania. The plane leaves at 12!", Lori said. "Thats right, sorry.", Rita replied as she heard the phone ring. "Hello? Yeah, im her. Wait, WHAT! I- i see, thank you officer.", Rita said as tears rolled down her eyes. "Mom, whats wrong?", Lynn asked. Rita explained in the middle of sobs, "After you girls left, 2- 2 men came inside the school and began shooting. And- when your brother tried to escape, he wa- he was shot twice and fell out the second floor window.", she said as she collapsed to her knees.

Lori was already in the car frantically beeping for everyone to get in. They sped to the school to see the police surrounding the place. Lynn jumped out and ran over to a officer, "Where are your pa-", the officer tried to say. "WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS MY BROTHER!?", Lynn yelled. "Little girl, calm down! Who is your brother and what does he look like?", the officer asked. "His name is Lincoln! Lincoln Loud! White hair, orange polo, chipped tooth!", she yelled back

The officer pointed at 4 paramedics who were strapping a boy into a stretcher. "Damn, its Columbine all over again.", one officer said. "I agree with that.", another said. The Louds rushed over to see the only boy in the family in a stretcher with bullet holes in his chest and stomach. Leni fainted at the sight and Lori caught her, Rita just sat in pure shock, her baby was fighting for his life. But he wasnt their only concern, apparently 22 students are dead, and 2 teachers are also dead. But what scared them more, was the sound of more gunshots.

 ** _Shit, this was hard to write. Also, dont be offended by me mentioning Columbine. My friends father is a victim who lost his cousin in that shooting. Ive also met a survivor named Patrick Ireland. But seriously, ive also been there on April 20th, 2016 to make a speech._** **_Also I know this is poor timing considering what happened 14 days ago, such as why Anthony is in Florida right now._**


	18. Anthony and Ethans Top Hits! P1

Two guys sitting in chairs turn around to face the camera, "Well hello there dear viewers.", one said. "Welcome to Anthony and Ethans Top Hits!", the other said. "We are Ethan and Anthony, or as you know us, TheBodaciousE and 763Boi.", Ethan said. "But call us as you wish, here we go with the first top hit from Ethans, 'If Lincoln Could Roast'.", Anthony said.

The camera show the Loud family standing in the living room. Luna shook here head to her siblings, "I dont know dudes, I just dont think I can tell em how I feel..." Lincoln shot up like a black priest at a revival.

"Ahh yes, that was one of my best laughs.", Anthony said. "Alright, now on to Anthonys, 'The One Shot House!'", Ethan said as he gave a thumbs up.

Lincoln and the Louds in the livinf room again, "THATS IT I HATE YOU ALL OH BOO HOO HOO IM A POOR INNOCENT VICTIM OH WOE IS ME! YOUR ALL SO ANNOYING IM RUNNING AWAY FOREVER!", Lincoln yelled.

"Now that chapter had me rollin on the floor! Had me thinkin, 'This dude getting favorited rn'.", Ethan exclaimed. Anthony just laughed along with him, "Alright, while we enjoy this food we ordered out of goddamn nowhere, on to Ethans, 'Flagg the Pathetic Loser'", Anthony said.

Lori and Flagg in Lori's room. "What has 40 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk?", Flagg asked. Lori shook her head in confusion. "My zipper." Lori tackled him and began rip his off jeans like an animal. Once she had she saw... she saw. One inch of chode.

Ethan was sitting in his chair, but Anthony was in the back reading the chapter, taking a sip of hot chocolate. He then read that line, he spit all of the hot chocolate on his pants and yelled in pain, "HOLY FUCK!", he yelled as he fell out the chair and ran to the bathroom. "Well, while hes busy doing whatever the fuck hes doing, lets go on to another chapter of The One Shot House!", Ethan said.

Lincoln sat down on his bed with a comic in hand. After finishing, he hopped out and saw Luan reading something. "Hey Lu, watcha reading?", Lincoln asked. Luan freaked out and closed her laptop, "Uh, its nothing Linc, its uh.", Luan said as Lincoln snatched the laptop. He opened it up and saw HUNDREDS of files of loudcest fanfiction and art. Luan looked at Lincoln as he dropped the laptop. "Fuck this shit im out. Mmmmmm hmmmm. fuck this shit im out, no thanks! Dont mind me, imma just grab my stuff and leave, s'cuse me please. Fuck this shit im out, NOPE! Fuck this shit im out, alright then. I dont know what thefuck just happened, but I don't really care, imma get the fuck up outta here, FUCK THIS SHIT IM OUT!", Lincoln sang as he walked away.

Ethan fell of his chair as Anthonynwalked out with a new pair of pants. Anthony picked Ethan up and they both sat back down. "Alright thats it for episode 1, if you enjoyed it, leave a follow and a favorite, also go follow and favorite my dude Ethan, A.K.A The Bodacious E, and me.", Anthony said.

Ethan then stood up with wide eyes, "I hear music. Go get the laptop, I need to write Luna and Lincoln singing it.", Ethan yelled. "You dont know how many times this happens.", Anthony sighed as he walked out of the room tomgrab E's laptop.


	19. Best Loud House Lemon Fics Gets Burt

**_This is what you get when you memess with the Loud house community on here, fuck off._**

A child was sitting in his room reading some fanfiction while stroking his 1mm dick. "Oooh yeah, AbberantScript can really write the good shit!", the kid moaned as he used his index finger and thumb to beat his meat. He then looked up some more stories and found one by Lentex. "Oh my god! This is amazing, get her Linc! Ooooooooooooh dayum!" he exclaimed.

Finnaly, to finish off his day of being a lonely virgin, he clicked on a story by Homeydaclown. "AHHHHHHH!", he yelled as he bust a nut on his keyboard. He cheered in success, "That goes in the collection!", he yelled as he took a spoon and scooped his jizz up. He placed it in a jar and put it in his closet, along with his posters of Loud House fanfic writers.

Then a thought hit him, "Im going to write some original stories!", he jumped in the air and tried to do a flash ending, but fell and lightly hit his knee, "FUCK!", he yelled as hot tears streamed down his face. After getting back from ER with a small band-aid on his leg, he began to "write" his "original" stories. As he finished his "masterpiece", he yelled in success and ran downstairs to celebrate by eating 15 pizza rolls and deep throating a couple raw hot dogs.

After walking back in, he sat down in his stiff ass chair and read some more, "Hmmmm, maybe ill start writing like The Bodacious E, or 763Boi!", he exclaimed. Just then, 763Boi, The Bodacious E, Flagg1991, AcropolisGD, d.felipe76, AbberantScript, Lentex, TheLivingMyth, and various other Loud House writers spilled into his room like fucking SWAT members. E, 763Boi, Flagg, and Abby pulled out Glocks and aimed them at him, "GET THE FUCK ON THE GROUND YOU RIP-OFF PIECE OF SHIT!", Flagg yelled as BLHLF dropped to the floor.

Just then, Kenny burst in with his baton in hand, "Did I miss anything?", he said. Flagg nodded no as Kenny sighed in relief. Just then, Mia and various other side characters from the accounts came in to. E rubbed his hands like a villain, "Ooooh, your gon be **_GOOD_!**", E said with a devilish laugh.

Ethan cleared his throat, " ** _BOI! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE! OUT HERE LOOKING LIKE A GODDAMN MUSICA.LY FUCKBOY! YOUR OUT HERE COPYING ALL THIS SHIT LIKE YOU GUD! BUT FUCK NAW! WE AINT TAKING THAT SHIT! GET THE FUCK OUT WITH YOUR RIP-OFF NIKES! ACTIN LIKE YOU GOT BEEF! YOU LOOK LIKE A LLAMA AND THE BUTTER FROG FROM CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS 2 HAD A GODDAMN BABY! GET YOUR SLENDERMAN LOOKIN ASS OUTTA HERE! YOU PALE AS HELL! YOU WANNA COPY SOME SHIT? THEN HPW BOUT YOU COPY YO GEEK ASS FRIEND A CHECK FOR LETTIN YOU BORRROW HIS PORNHUB PREMIUM ACCOUNT!_** Get yo ass out my face.", E finished.

This lil ugly dude flew back and smacked into his computer, breaking it instantly. "NO! MY LOUDCEST PICTURE FILES!", he screamed as he started to cry again. Just then, he felt Abbys fist collide with his head, making him fall back. "This is for copying these masterpieces you son of a bitch.", GD said as everyone pulled out weapons and slowly walked towards him.


	20. DIS BOI DIDNT LEARN HIS LESSON

**_This dude obviously isnt learining shit._**

BLHLF just got out of the hospital after recieving a serious beating from the Loud House fanfiction writers. He looked like a mix between Patrick Star and Homestar Runner. When he got home, he layed in his bed and cried himself to sleep.

The next morning, he decided he would get revenge. He looked up Flag1991 and read his story, "Aw man, this is so nice. Imma make another one but change it.", he said as he began writing. Then, AcropolisGD swung in and smacked him across the face, "SWIPER NO SWIPING BITCH!", GD yelled as he jumped out the window into his blue lambo.

Lil ugly dude cried, but he kept writing. He then posted the story, and a few minutes later, a review by That Engineer showed up, he didnt believe anything he said. This boi tried his best to retort, but it was sucky as hell. Then he heard cars pull up outside and a helicopter. He looked out the window to see Flag1991 contolling the helicopter as E and Levi stood on the sides with Tec-DC9s.

Then down below, a green lambo and a blue lambo pulled up as 763Boi and GD popped out holding Glock 18s. "Hey! You dont wanna mess with me! I did like half a jumping jack today!", dis ugly boi yelled. Flagg may have gone a little crazy, because he went kamikaze and smashed the helicopter into the house.

Flagg, E, and Levi hopped out as BLHLF threw his hands up weakly. Just then, GD burst through the door with a baseball bat and smacked him across the head. He flew into his closet, hitting all his jars of semen. They broke and it all spilt onto him, "THIS BOI LOOK LIKE A FUCKING KARDASHIAN!", Flagg yelled as everyone began to laugh. "Your all so mean!", BLHLF yelled.

E walked up to him, "You obviously didnt learn the last time, bitch. *clears throat*. **_BOY! STOP PLAGIARIZING PEOPLE'S WORK YOU DUMB CUNT! YO 12 YEAR OLD ASS CANT EVEN SPELL RIGHT! ITS SYNGENSOPHOBIA BITCH! GET OUTTA HERE, FUCKING A CARDBOARD BOX IN THIS SHIT! LOOK AT YOUR DIDRTY ASS ROOM! YO MAMA PROBABLY LOCKED YOU IN HERE TO FORGET THE MISTAKE SHE MADE! THE BEST PART OF YOU STREAMED DOWN YO MOMS LEG AND ENDED UP AS A STAIN ON THE SHEETS! SERIOUSLY, YOU LOOK PIKE MIACHEL PHELPS WHEN HE GOT SLIMED ON KCS BUT WITH CUM! FUCK OFF WITH_** **_YO USELESS NO TALENT HAVIN ASS!_** Fuck outta here.", E said.

BLHLF punched E in the mouth, causing him to fall back. 763Boi slipped on some rubber gloves and punched the shit outta him. "DA FUCK YOU DOIN?!", he yelled as they dragged him to the gaping hole in his wall. "You cant do this! Flagg gave me permission!", BLHLF screamed. Flagg put on some brass knuckles and punched him in the dick. "STOP LYING! NO WONDER YOUR SISTER RAN OFF AFTER SHE HAD THE BABY!", Flagg yelled.

763Boi let his arms go as he fell into a bush. He tried to run, but then someone ran up to him, his name was Charlie Yzarc ( ** _If you can tell me what stories that from, your a beast._** ). He grabbed him and pulled him into a van, the cops were about to go after him, GD walked up to them, "Dont worry, that kid plagiarized our work.", he said. The officers gasped, they opened the van doors and started beating him with batons while being raped.


	21. How to be BLHLF

**_All the bad spelling is purposeful to see how this bitch actually writes._** ** _Also this should ne my last roast of this dude, but if he keeps copying peoples stories, I will do some more._**

You turn to see a computer screen showing a YouTube video with over 8,000,000,000,000,000 dislikes, which is physically impossible. You can see thaat it is made by LogangJakePaulerLoveer3789, or as you know him on this site, Best Loud House Lemon Fics.

You then see some random kid run towards the screen with a piece of paper humming to Cartoons, "On and On". He was practically ripping the paper while crushing it. "HEY GOYS!", he yelled with a smile, revealing his teeth that looked like fucking popcorn kernels.

He started to dance around like a white kid after shooting up a school and the cops start shooting the blacck kid running out. "ANYWAY! TWODAY WE ARE GOING TO BE DOOING A TWOTORIAL ON HOW TO BE AS SUCCESSFUL AND AMAZING AS ME ON THE SITE!", he yelled.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!", the neighbor yelled. BLHLF pulled out a Nerf gun and started shooting the house, "STOP BEEING SUCH A MEENIE!", he yelled. He then looked back to the camera, "Lets go to the lab where I come up with all my great content!", he exclaimed, again smiling.

He ran into his house and burst down the door, until his dad ran out and smacked him over the head with his belt. "BREAK MY DOOR AND ILL BREAK YO RIBS!", he yelled. The video cut there, until the camera came back showing BLHLF's face, with dried tear marks streaming down his face and Cheeto dust around his mouth.

"Alright guys, all you have to do is find a nice storie, take The Bodacious E's Lovers Passion.", he explained. "Then you just copy paste it with a tad bit of a change at the end.", he said, doing the deed. "I already did this before, but some pepole huwt me, so I had to change it. But luckily, we wont worry abowt them any more, I sent a bomb to their HQ!", he laughed.

Meanwhile, at Loud Writers HQ, Flagg, 763Boi, and GD stood at the door tapping their feet, the fake TNT from that boring ass game Chrono Bomb was hooked up to the door. They just sat there with puzzled faces, "Ill get the bat.", Flagg said, he was getting tired of this bullshit.

"ALRIGHT! LETS SEE THESE REVEWS!", BLHLF yelled. He clicked on his storie, "Aw, dey beeing mean again!", he yelled. "Dont worry though, I came up with some great comebacks!", he yelled as he started to type some. "Alright, so That Engineer said I was being kinda dumb, and I respect him for writing Singinphobio, but whatever.", BLHLF said.

Then he heard cars oulling up outside and the cocking of a Desert Eagle, then a couple gunshots spraying his window. "SHIT! THEY HEWE AGAIN! MAGICAL JETPACK RISE!", he yelled as he put a cardboard box with paper towel rolls taped to the sides on his back. He pulled the string as confetti came out, "But, the video said it would make a jetpack!", he yelled. Then he punched a wall, which of course made him scream in pain. He cried as he saw a smoke bomb pop in as it exploded, it turnt out to also be nrperve gas as he collapsed to the ground.

He woke up near the part of the sewers where they let the water rush out as he was tied to a chair. He then heard a big creak as the door holding the water back started to pop open.


	22. Full Moon Ronnie Anne P1

**_Shit, i dont have much to say for the authors note... the DSN remix of Pumped Up Kicks is better than the Bridge and Law remix, look it up._**

 ** _God of the Challenge: What ya got for me._**

Lincoln sat at the park, being 11 pm and spring break, he needed a break from the chaos at home. Until he heard the rustling of the bush behind him. Naturally, he pulled out the knife he got for his birthday, he popped it open until it revealed to be his friend, Ronnie Anne.

He chuckled as he closed the knife and slid it back in his pocket. "Wow, Lame-O, one little rustle and your in full attack mode.", Ronnie Anne laughed. Lincoln shrugged as he sat back down, Ronnie Anne sat next to him. "So whats been bugging y-", Ronnie Anne said before she stopped.

Lincoln turnt to her, "Are you alright?", Lincoln asked. Suddenly, Ronnie Anne pounced on him, she pinned him down and started to punch him in the face. "RONNIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?", Lincoln screamed as he tried to block his face. "I dont know!", Ronnie said. She continued to punch him as he looked to become unconcious, his nose was probably broken and his lip was split.

Lincoln managed to moan out one more thing before she knocked him out. "Please... stop.", he said as he practically cracked his skull open from smacking the concrete. "Im sorry...", Ronnie Anne cried out as she punched him one more time, making him fall unconscious.

The last thing he saw was the full moon illuminating the ground at which would be his bed for the night. He woke up on the bench with his family around him, "Lincoln! Are you ok?", Lori asked. Lincoln just moaned as he looked at himself. There was dry blood on his hands, face and clothes. "Who did this to you?", Leni yelled.

Lincoln did his best to explain, but he ended up unconcious again from the pain in his head. But the family understood everything, "Wait wheres Lynn?", Rita said. Lynn was nowhere to he seen, but something told them that she was doing something about what happened to Lincoln.

Meanwhile at the Santiago residence, a knock on the door was heard as Ronnie Anne walked out of her room and answered it. Only to be tackled by Lynn, she realized she hadnt washed her hoodie or her hands last night, so the blood was still on her hands. Lynn punched her about 70 times in the head, "Dont fuck with my brother again, bitch.", Lynn said as she spat on Ronnie Anne and left.


	23. A Tragedy at Royal Woods Middle School 2

"EVERYONE GET DOWN!", an officer yelled as the people outside ducked down to cover. They all saw it was coming from the lubrary, where Lincoln fell out the window. Inside, Ronnie Anne Santiago, Lincolns girlfriend, had been sitting inside the building.

She curled up into a ball, she legit watched the boy she loved be shot and then fall out a window! She couldnt help but sob, but she quickly quietted down due to one of the shooters yelling. "Listen up you scared son of a bitches! This school is fucked, your gonna learn what happens when you mess with Eli Harring and David Klein!", the boy now identified as Eli Harring yelled.

Ronnie Anne gasped quietly, Eli and David? They were two of Bobbys best friends. She was even friends with Elis little sister, but knowing that those boys possibly killed her love, it tore a hole in her heart bigget than any bullet couldve. "Wait a minute Eli.", David said. "What is it.", Eli said as he shot Cookie Beach. "Dosent Bobbys little sister go here?", David said.

Eli chuckled, "Yeah. Alright you pricks, do any of you know where Ronnie Anne Santiago is, her brother never treated us like shit, she dont deserve to die.", Eli said. No answer, "Fine then, your dead.", David laughed as he threw a grenade at the doors. David looked at his watch, "Oi Eli, Dorothy's ready to go down the Yellow Brick Road!", he said. Just then, a large explosion was seen at the opposite side of the school. People outside ducked for cover, though Lincoln was concious, a piece flew and hit him in the eye, causing him to scream as the paremedics got back to work.

Ronnie Anne heard more shooting, then she heard steps next to her hiding spot. She was under a desk that was pressed against the wall, leaving a decent hole inside to hide. Then 6 bullets flew through the side of it, 5 hitting Ronnie Anne. She moaned in pain as she fell over, knocking the desk over.

2 bullets hit her chest, one in her arm, and 2 in her shoulder. Eli looked back as he saw Ronnie Anne, "Hey sweetie, enjoy the gift.", he said as he walked away. She heard more shots as she looked around. Everyone was either dead or injured, she then heard 2 more gunshots, then heard a loud thud. She saw an open window and started to drag herself over there, she looked to her right and saw Eli and David, dead.

She practically threw up, Eli was sprawled on a table with a gunshot wound in his chest, and David was leaning on the table with a shot to his right temple. She managed to make it to the window and wave her hand up, she grabbed onto the frame, not caring about the glass that jabbed into her hand. She pulled herself up as some officers climbed on an air conditioner and grabbed her hands.

They pulled her down, "Eli and David, dead.", she moaned as they moved her. "Can you tell us who Eli and David are?", an officer said. "Murderers.", Ronnie Anne said as she coughed. "THE KID SAYS SHOOTERS ARE DOWN! GET A TEAM IN THERE, QUICK!", one man yelled as the SWAT teams ran in. They brought her over to the ambulance where Lincoln was, he looked at her and passed out again.


	24. I Incest That You Leave 1

Lucy was sitting in her room, her heart racing. She was in a bad, deep lust for her brother. She loved him, but way farther than just as a bro and his sis. She decided it was time, she was going to admit it. She walked out her room and knocked on his door. Lincoln answered and greeted her with a happy smile. "Hey Luce, what do you need?", he asked.

"Can we talk? Privately.", Lucy answered as Lincoln nodded and invited her in. "So, whats the problem?", Lincoln asked as Lucy's heart started to go faster. "I- uh, I l- uh", Lucy tried to say. Lincoln put his hand on her shoulder. "I- I love you Lincoln.", Lucy said with a deep blush.

"I love you too, why was that so hard to say?", Lincoln asked. "I dont mean love as in brother and sister, i mean love as in, boyfriend and girlfriend.", Lucy said as Lincolns eyes widened. He stood there in for a second, shocked. "Are you crazy!? Thats disgusting! Its incest as well! Do you know how much trouble you could get in for that?!", Lincoln said.

"Lincoln, please. Your the only one who ever pays any attention to me! Your the one who notices me and helps me!", Lucy said. Lincoln started to feel funny, he felt weirded out and disgusted. "Lucy, out of my room, now.", Lincoln said. "But Linc-", "I SAID NOW GODDAMMIT!", Lincoln said as he kicked her out. Lucy walked away in shame as the sisters came out, they heard Lincoln and saw Lucy, so they got mad.

"Lincoln! What did you do to Lucy!?", Lori yelled. "Lucy is a disgusting, perverted, incest loving goth! She just came and told me she loved me more than brother and sister!", he yelled as he slammed the door again. The sisters attention all turned to Lucy, who was sitting in her room.

They walked in. "Lucy, what the hell!?", Lynn yelled. Lucy just sat there, blank. "Lucy! Answer us now! Why the hell would you fall for Lincoln, we all love him, but nowhere near your level!", Luan yelled. "I dont care! I love Lincoln ane he will love me back!", Lucy said. They heard a door being kicked, "HELL NO!", Lincoln yelled as he walked downstairs.

All the sisters just stood there in disgust, they left. Lucy was gonna go to sleep, until she heard a voice, one that means your in trouble. "LUCY LOUD!!".


	25. Sneak Out

17 year old Lincoln looked out his bedroom door, scoping his surroundings. Seeing no one awake, he slowly made his way out into the hallway, he left a note saying that he slept over at Clydes after his grandmother died (Even though that happened months ago). He made his way down the steps and out the door.

He walked down to the edge of Royal Woods to find the place he was looking for, Royal Woods Bar and Treat. He walked in and sat down, he looked way older than his current age and managed to get in. After arriving, he decided have a drink. He popped open a cold one and slowly sipped it, eventually turning into 10's of 20's of drinks, leaving him wasted.

He wobbled over and out the door, only to smack into the wall, causing him to feel woozier. He was about to fall until 2 girls who looked to be his age caught him, "You alright dude? You got wasted!", one said. "Yeah, you need a lift.", the other asked. "I- i guess.", Lincoln moaned as he was carried out and placed in the car. "Where do you live?", one asked.

Lincoln moaned out his address as they began down the road. They went down the street, only to see police cars, "Hey officers, whats the problem.", the one asked. "There was a large shooting leaving 2 people injured, no one can get in or out of Franklin Avenue.", an officer explained. "Alright dude, guess your crashing with us tonight.", the girl in the passenger side said. They turnt around, "Wha- what are your names?", Lincoln asked. "Shes Audrey, im Kat.", Kat said. "Perfect names for a blonde and a brunette.", Lincoln said as he leaned against the door.

When they arrived, Lincoln was suprised to see the decent apartment they had. It was mostly clean, apart from a couple of messy shelves. But other than that, it was a decent place, "You guys can really clean up.", Lincoln said. "Thanks, you can go sit down if you want. Ill get you a glass of water.", Audrey said. 'Get it together Linc, dont embarass yourself', Lincoln said to himself.

It was hard to stay... normal. Think of it, two beautiful girls, both his age, a blonde and a brunette, and those boobs... ah... 'NO!'. Lincoln yelled, he didnt wanna embarass himself, get kicked out and have nowhere to go for the rest of the night. He sat down and turned on the TV, then Audrey came back with his wayer while Kat threw some ramen in the microwave.

After eating a quick meal and talking for a bit, they all sat back down and watched a show. The two girls seemed fine, but Lincoln however, was freaking out. 'Dont do it... dont do it... don-' *PRICK*. Lincoln sturred in his seat as the two looked at him, they looked confused, until they saw the deep blush on his face and his scared look. The two giggled, "Lincoln, you look a little tense, let me help you out a bit.", Audrey said as she climbed behind him and started to grope around his shoulders and down to his chest.

Kat then climbed on his lap and started to massage his body, Lincoln was in heaven right now, but he couldnt show it or he would be proved a pervert. Unbeknownst to the growing grip on his pants. "And now to go farther.", Kat said, Lincoln was about to speak up, until he felt his fly zip down.

Lincoln went stiff, and by stiff I mean _everywhere_. He felt his rod be gripped up by Kats warm hand, which then led to feeling the sick saliva of her mouth on the tip. "Bu- bu- bu-", Lincoln managed to moan out. "Ooooh~ is that a six pack I feel?", Audrey said as she continued to grope up his chest.

'Ronnie Annes gonna kill me', Lincolns mind said, but the smarter part of his mind said fuck Ronnie Anne, she was frigid. Lincoln then felt his cock be full embraced into Kats mouth as he moaned out loud. "I see your enjoying yourself.", Audrey said as she bit his neck.

Kat picked up speed as Lincoln moaned louder, after about 3 minutes, he burst. Letting everything come straight out, "Fuck.", Lincoln moaned as he fell back. He began to take of his shirt as Kat and Audrey did the same. Its a known fact that your pupil can expand up to 55% its original size when it sees something it loves. Well Lincolns pupils were more 80% larger. The two girls walked towards him as he was pushed down by Audrey.

He layed flat on the couch as the blonde climbed on top of him. The feeling of her skin was like silk, without hesitating, Audrey brought herself down on Lincolns cock, fast. They started of slow, until they picked up speed, Lincoln reverted the position, leaving him on top. " _Ahhhhhhhh.",_ Lincoln moaned out as he pumped faster. "FUUUUUUU!", Audrey moaned. Lincoln kept picking up the pace until he came, " _AHHHHHH!",_ Lincoln exclaimed as he shot his load.

They stayed in that position for a few seconds before finnaly separating, "Kat look out, he practically tore me in half.", Audrey said as she colapsed onto a chair. Lincoln was tired, but from Kats look, he didnt have a choice. She pushed him on his back as she locked lips with him. When she pulled back out, she got on her hands and knees as Lincoln propped himself up. "Y- you sure you wanna do this.", Lincoln said, still exhausted from the last round. "Dont ask dumb questions.", she replied. Lincoln thrusted in causing Kat to moan, loud. Lincoln grabbed her arms and began to pull on them as she bounced on his dick.

"Fuuuuuuck... Lincooooooooooo-", Kat moaned. Lincoln went faster as they began to moan louder, each pump giving them that jump of adrenaline. " _KAAAAAT!",_ Lincoln yelled as he pulled out, his cum spilling on her back. Lincoln fell back as he gasped for air. "Living the dream.", he said. After cleaning up and putting clothes back on, Lincoln fell asleep on the coach along with the two girls on his side.

As morning approached, Lincoln took a quick shower, the smell of sex still remained on his body. He climbed in the car with Kat and Audrey as they drove down the street. After pulling up infront of his house, Lincoln hopped out, folding up a piece of paper that contained his #1 possession, their phone numbers.

 ** _Hope your request was fullfilled, im probably going to continue this, and this will also be moved to_** ** _Lewd for Louds._**


	26. TAOLAL Preview

**_Jack: Fuck no, I have a HUGE hatred towards Clyde, I know damn well he aint worth their time. Plus he is the largest pussy on the show. Why do you think most of my stories/os's have Clyde get beat up or thrown in jail._**

Lincoln sat at the table with Lila and his new friend Chandler. (HOLY SHIT! A STORY WHERE LINCOLN AND CHANDLER ARE FRIENDS?! RARE!) They sat and ate their lunch, "So, Chandler, I was thinking we head to Gus's today. It turns out that one of my friends bought the store, which means I get freebies without consequences.", Lincoln said. Chandler nodded, "Sorry about using you that time, but that was before we were friends. Didnt know you had the guts to challenge me like that, Loud.", Chandler said as the two boys laughed. Lila laughed with them, "What is wrong with you? Lincoln challenged you to a fight and you both wresseled on the floor and neither of you could take the other down. Now your best friends?", she said.

Lincoln was about to answer, until those other kids that teased him when he was with Ronnie Anne came by. "Ew Lincoln! Your dating your sister?", one of them said. Lincoln growled, "Hey Lincoln, I _incest_ that you make one of us your best man!", the other said. Lincoln clenched his teeth, "Man, Linc. How you like your water ice? With _custard?_ ", that did it.

Lincoln stood up and grabbed him by the collar and slammed him against the wall. "You wanna say that to my face?!", Lincoln said. "N- no Lincoln. Im s- s- sorry.", the kid chocked out. Lincoln nodded as he let go of him, "I gotta say Linc, you've turnt into such an asshole ever since the beginning of school.", the fat kid said. Lincoln grabbed a chair as they all scrambled to get away. "Pussies.", Lincoln mumbled as the 3 moved to the opposite side of the cafeteria.


	27. Mistakes 1

Lincoln slowly creaked open the front door as he looked around. It was Easter Fools Day, and he couldnt risk having anything happening. He slowly walked over to the steps, until... * ** _SPRING_** *. A boxing glove popped out of the kitchen, causing him to fly onto the couch.

Then another spring under the cushion sent him flying towards the trophy case, he crashed through it and fell to the floor. He slightly moaned in pain at the pieces of glass stuck in his body. He then saw the case rocking back and forth as he tried to move out the way, one of Lynns trophies fell and hit him in the head, causing his vision to blurry. Then the worst happened, the case fell on his body, leaving his arm bent out of proportion.

Then he found a bucket of soda spill over his body. He screamed in pain as it burned his cuts, the others just walked in the door and saw Lincoln on the floor. They rushed over as Luan came downstairs, "APRIL FOOLS!", she yelled. Lynn threw a baseball at her head in straight anger, "What did I d-", she then saw Lincoln.

She started to freak out, "I- I didnt mean it, youll be ok I promise, im sorry!", she begged. When they propped Lincoln up and led him to the car, the last thing he said to her was, "Your a monster.", before blacking out in his parents arms.


	28. Lincolns Fortnite Suicide

Lincoln was awake playing Fortnite, being an absolute boss. But then he looked up in the sky and saw what appeared to be a comet or meteor (Comet until it enters atmosphere). He looked confused until he pulled up Google and looked up Fortnite Meteor.

He then read the headline of an article said, " ** _Meteor Destroying Tilted Towers"_**. Lincoln stared in shock as tears flooded his eyes, "How could they do this!?", Lincoln cried as he ran out of the room. He was found dead inside his room.


	29. School Dance Pt 1

Lincoln looked out the window of his room as he put on his clothes. He was getting ready to go to the final dance of the school year, and he was damn sure he was gonna make it last. He put on his neon orange t-shirt, some jeans, and his shoes. He stoped and grabbed a bag of Taki's from the cabinet before hopping in Vanzilla as Lori pulled out the driveway.

Once arriving, he stood outside with Clyde, Chandler, and Ronnie Anne waiting to be let in. "Hey Lincoln, whats with the bag?", Clyde asked. "Its a secret. Also dont complain, im covering the food.", Lincoln said as he pulled out his wallet, revealing $40. The staff opened the doors as the students were let in, Lincoln sat down and pulled out his phone.

He then heard the music start to come on and the floor start to vibrate. "Have to wait till its really heated up.", Lincoln whispered to himself as he bought himself a Root Beer. He saw the others come out of the gym and lean against the wall. Seeing the looks on their faces, he stood up and got them each a soft pretzel and a slice of pizza.

He then heard the music cut off so the DJ could change songs, then his plan would unfold. The others saw the smug look on his face, which usually indicated that he had a plan, and that plan would work. He took another sip of his drink before throwing the cup away and walking towards the gym entrance.

He saw a large crowd as screaming and laughing endured. He walked over towards the DJ, "Can you play this when this song is done?", Lincoln said. "Sure thing dude.", the DJ said as he read the paper and typed it in. Lincoln quickly snuck into the boys locker room and changed into a black and red suit, along with a matching hat and mask.

He then heard the song come on as he exited the locker room and snuck behind the bleachers. He made it back to the gym entrance as the beat picked up. The lights then focused on him as he struck a pose, he walked into the room with a slight bounce in his step.

He made it to the center of the gym and struck another pose before the beat dropped. He jumped in the air and did a spin before landing back on his feet and looked over to some girls, he smirked as he continued to do the Electric Shuffle until doing a flip and continuing to dance. He did the moon walk until the beat dropped again as he began to breakdance. He swirled and started balancing on his head before signalling towards a girl in the crowd, Ronnie Anne.

She blushed as she walked towards him. She had to admit, she was somewhat wooed by the way the "mystery boy" danced. Lincoln grabbed her hands before twirling her around and grabbing her waist before lifting her up and throwing her in the air. He caught her and spun her again, once around the left side, once around the right, before letting her wobble back into the crowd, a lovestruck expression on her face with a smile you couldve sworn was perfect.

Lincoln ran towards the bleachers before jumping up, kicking off of them, and throwing his mask in the air along with his hat. As he landed on his knees and slid down towards the DJ's table, he looked up at the crowd. The song ended as they stared in shock.

Lincoln was especially admired by the group of friends he had in the corner. Lincoln lightly chuckled as he stood up before the crowd erupted with applaud. He saw Clyde and Chandler looking at him with faces of shock and jealousy. "That... was... amazing.", Clyde said. Lincoln shrugged, "Dang Linc, didnt know ya had it in ya.", Chandler said.

Lincoln again shrugged, _nobody_ knew he could dance, not even his family. He was thinking on that for a second until someone grabbed his neck and slammed him against the wall. Lincoln looked down and saw Ronnie Anne staring up at him, he could see the mixed feeling in her eyes. Lincoln prepared himself for the worst beating of his life, until she put him down, grabbed his collar, and slammed her lips onto his.


	30. Work Out 1

"97... 98... 99... 100!", Lincoln grunted as placed the dumbell on the holder and sat up. "Ah fuck.", he mumbled as he gulped down an orange Gatorade. He threw the cup away and exited the Y, not before tipping his helper of course.

He walked outside and was met with a burst of warm air. "Fuck, how hot is it?", he said as he poured some water on his head. When he made it to the house, he walked in and instantly ran to the bathroom to take a cold shower. When he exited, he forgot to throw a shirt on, he quickly ran back in and grabbed his shirt before leaving

He was about to enter his room until Lisa walked out of her room. "Brother unit, I have been studying your movements and health and it seems to me that you have been ongoing constant work out sessions.", Lisa said. Lincoln sighed in defeat, hearing his secret come out, he saw 8 pairs of eyes peering out of the rooms.

"While it is unnatural, I have created a concoction that will help you during said sessions.", Lisa said. "Oh cool, let me see that.", Lincoln said as she handed him the test tube. Lincoln instantly threw that shit in the ground and stomped on it, "WHAT KIND OF A PANZY ASS FUCK DO YOU THINK I AM?!", he yelled. The peering eyes quickly jumped back as 4 doors closed immediately.

"YOU REALLY EXPECTED ME TO TAKE FUCKING STEROIDS? YOU WANT ME TO OD DONT YOU?", Lincoln roared. "I appreciate the offer, but hell no.", he said again. He walked in his room and slammed the door. "Well that escalated quickly.", Luan said. "I think this workout thing is changing him dudes.", Luna said.

"Why I outta walk in there and show him what for!", Lynn said. "I wouldnt recommend that Lynn, Bobby wpgoes to the Y with Lincoln and he saw him change his shirt.", Lori said. "So?", Lynn said. "Do you really wanna know?", Lori asked. Lynn understood what she meant as the color drained from her face. "Not to mention when he got suspended last week.", Lana said.

 _*Flashback*_ _Lincoln and Clyde walked down the hallway, rumors where spreading about Lincolns sudden personality change, but he didnt mind. When the two reached their lockers, Lincoln heard snickering as he turnt around and saw two 8th graders staring at him. "What are you looking at snowball?", the one boy said as he shoved him into the locker. Lincoln clenched his teeth, "Calm down, dont be a faggot infront of all your little friends.", the other said._ _The crowd erupted with laughter as Lincolns hands balled into fists, "Oh no, its big bad Lincoln Loud, everybody run!", the other said. In one swift move, Lincoln grabbed the kid by the coller and shoved his head in the locker. He then repeatedly slammed the door on his head until his nose and mouth exploded with blood gushing out like a geyser._ _The others stared as the one boy grabbed him and held him against the wall, "Listen here you little shit, you are fucked.", he said. Out of nowhere, he doubled over in pain as he just got kicked in the balls, and in one punch, the kid was on the ground bleeding from his mouth next to his friend._ _*End Flashback*_


	31. Break In

Lincoln layed in his bed with his laptop on his lap as he watched YouTube, I mean, who dosent stay up until 3 AM on a Summer night and binge YouTube? He then heard the door downstairs burst in, Lincoln creeped out of his room and looked downstairs, he saw two men with masks standing downstairs, until they looked at him.

"YOU! DOWN HERE NOW!", he yelled as he pulled out a knife. Lincoln slowly walked down the steps with his hands raised, "Mom, dad! Yell at Lincoln later! Were trying to sleep!", the sisters said in unison. "YOU ALL DOWN HERE TO OR THE BOY GETS IT!", the man yelled.

The sisters heard the man yell and peeked down, only to gasp in horror as Lincoln had a knife to his throat. They walked down and held their hands up, scared of what might happen next. "Alright listen up you scared pieces of shit, we want everything worth value, any joking around and the boys dead.", the man said as they pulled out guns.

In Rita and Lynn Sr's room, Rita hid in the closets crawl space and called the police while Lynn Sr. walked out with his hands raised. With Rita, "Hello, 9-11. What is your emergency?", the caller asked. "Yes, thereare two men in my house with my children and husband. They are armed and threatening to kill my son if we dont give them anytning worth money.", Rita choked out.

"Alright ma'am, we will have officers there within 4 minutes, can you stay on the line with me?", the responder said. "Th- thank you.", Rita replied as she curled into a ball. "Theres gotta be more than that.", the man said as he slammed his fist on the table.

"Th- thats all sir.", Lola and Lana wimpered. "Bull-fucking-shit, I guess we'll have to beat it out of you all.", the man yelled as he hit Lincolns nose with the butt of the gun, making it start gushing blood. "LINCOLN!", Leni screamed.

Lincoln stood back up, wimpering like a sick puppy as he did his best to stop the blood. "We swear thats all! Just leave my son alone!", Lynn Sr. said. "Your all fucking lying!", the second man yelled. Just then, one pulled out a baseball bat and slammed it onto Lincolns chest, a loud crack being heard throughout the room.

Lincoln flew backwards and dropped to the ground, gasping for air as he cried in agony. "YOU MEANIE!", Lola cried as she spat on his foot. The man grabbed her by the hair and pulled her up to his level, spat in her face, and dropped her.

Sirens wailed outside as one officer closed off the roads. "Ma'am, the police are outside, do you have anyway of getting out of the house?", the responder asked. "Yes, the window.", Rita said, "Ma'am we need you to exit the house as quickly as possible.", the responder said. "O- ok.", she replied as she slowly creaked the door open, trying not to make it squeak.

Heavy gasping was heard as Lincoln layed on the floor, his sisters and father all standing infront of him, just then, a loud banging was heard coming from the backdoor. The two men walked over to the door and opened it, "GET THE FUCK ON THE GROUND!", two SWAT members yelled as they raised their assault rifles. The men dropped their weapons as they fell on their hands and knees.

"NO! LINCOLN! COME ON!", Lori yelled as she tried to give him CPR. "One child severely injured, i repeat, severely injured!", a man yelled into his radio as they searched the house. Just then, Lincolns eyes shot open as he let out a blood curdling scream


	32. The Truth

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!", Lincoln yelled as he fell of his bike. Ronnie Anne hit the brakes and got off to see if he was alright. "What happened?!", she exclaimed. "I just realized the world is flat!", Lincoln said. Ronnie Anne laughed, "No its not lame-o.", she replied.

"Ronnie, you know your my world right.", Lincoln said. "Yeah, you tell me that all the ti-"

* **INSERT EVIL MORTY THEME SONG** *


	33. Visit From the Head Chef

**_I just wanted to say Rest in peace to XXXtentacion, ine of my favorite rappers, but as Kendrick Lamar once said, "The person infront of the gun lives forever."_**

Customers at the Aloha Comrade spilled in for the lunch rush. One of them being Lincoln Loud himself, ever since his father opened a rival restaurant, The Lynnventory, Chef Sergae had added way to many new items to the menu. One of them being a favorite of Lincolns, the prime rib with cocktail shrimp.

But today would change all that Chef Sergae knew, for he was in for a suprise. When Lincoln was handed his plate, he instantly dug in. When he was finished, he took a big gulp of water. But then he felt a tingle in his stomach as he moaned in pain. All of sudden, Lincoln doubled over out of he seat and threw up.

The customers watched as the boy held his stomach and limped outside, taking himself to the hospital. When Sergae came back out eith the plates, all he saw was beat red vomit on the floor and customers spilling out.

 ** _3 weeks later: The Aloha Comrade, Royal Woods, Michigan_**

The door opened revealing a man with blonde hair, none other than the star of the TV show Kitchen Nightmares and the head chef himself, Gordon Ramsay. And behind him, a 13 year old boy with white hair. He walked up to a server, "Excuse me ma'am, could you please bring the chef out here please.", Ramsay asked. The server nodded and walked into the kitchen.

The two heard a gaso as Sergae ran out of the kitchen, "He- hello Chef Ramsay." Segae said nervously. "So Mr. Loud, mind explaining what happened?", the cook asked, "After I aye _your_ shrimp cocktail, I got food poisoning!", Lincoln exclaimed, shoving his finger in the mans chest.

"I assure you there is nothing wrong with my shrimp.", Sergae said. "Take me to the kitchen, now.", Gordon said as they walked back to the kitchen. "This is filthy.", Ramsay said as he looked around the kitchen, "What the hell is this?", he asked again as he poinred to the floor, a raw piece of chicken on it. "That is... my mistake, I will pick that up.", Sergae said nervously.

While he threw that out, the inpection was not yet finished. Ramsay opened the refrigerator and looked down. "What the bloody hell is this.", he exclaimed as he picked up a container. "Is this the shrimp you serve?", the chef asked, staring at Sergae. "Yes.", he replied.

When he opened the container, he practically threw up. The shrimp was all moldy and green, "THAT WAS IN MY FOOD?", Lincoln yelled. He snatched the container and practically burst through the kitchen door, "Everyone stop right now!", Lincoln yelled. He dropped the moldy shrimp on the floor, "That is the type of food the mediocre chef in the back is using in the _your_ food!", he said. Just then, Ramsay came back with even moldier meat, "Everyone out, were shutting down.", he said as he threw away both items.

"Why you throw away my produce?!", Sergae exclaimed. "There moldy you wanker!", Gordon yelled as he dropped the nasty food on the floor. "Clean your kitchen, learn how to fucking store your food, and dont let it expire.", Ramsay said. "Also my dads pressing charges.", Lincoln said as the two walked out of the restaurant.


	34. Everytime

**_Heres an AU to by far the most dissapointing yet predictable episodes ive ever seen, I swear the writers must hate Lincolns guts, the guy hasnt had one girlfriend, and each time he has a crush, something happens and its all shut down, plain messed up._**

Lincoln walked down the street, a gentle drizzle of rain covering his body as he looked down. He held a face of misery, grief, he couldnt hold onto his emotions this time. Light tears formed in his eyes as he continued his silent walk.

His only question was, why? Why was he the one who gets his hopes up only for them to be crushed later on? Why was he the one who tries so hard to show his true feelings, only for them to be beat into the dirt? Why was he the one that was left with nothing while everyone else had everything.

This entire predicament all started with a girl with red hair, her name was Cristina. Lincoln loved everything about her, that was until he leaked a video of himself to make it up to his sisters, costing any chance of being with Cristina at any point.

While that left him in a mix of anger and understanding, he decided to move on, he then met Ronnie Anne. The two didnt exactly hit it off instantly, starting with being bullied to getting punched. But thats when one time, Lincoln was _forced_ to go on a double date a Jean Juans French Mex Buffet where the two kissed. That quickly ended as she had moved away a couple months after. And which neither of them wouldve wanted anything long-distance.

And after that, Lincoln didnt really know what to feel considering the two werent officialy together, and then he met Paige one time while at Gus' Games and Grub. Finnaly, another person who enjoyed video games as much as he did, that ended quickly seeing as Lori decided to meddle one time while they had pizza. Costing him yet another possible love interest.

Then we come to now, where Lincoln actually hit it off and built a strong connection with a girl, Stella. The two would talk in school, sit together on the bus, go to get milkshakes and stuff to eat, it was fun. And when she started hanging out with his group of friends, he felt like he had a chance. That was when the incident happened... 10 minutes ago, when they confronted her about liking one of them, she laughed, she fucking laughed and said that they all had no chance.

Lincoln's hands began to shake as he leaned against the wall, everyone looked at him, confused. This was the last time, his heart could no longer take it, he just ran, he could hear the faint yells of his friends behind him as they tried to catch up with little to no success.

He just kept running till his legs could no longer take it, which brought him to now, sitting in Ketchum Park on a bench crying, every single pain, every loss, everything that broke his heart came to mind. He felt lost, being misguided into a life he never wanted, one of sadness, one of depression.

"Everytime.", he whispered. "Everytime... someone manages to break my heart.", he said. "Whats wrong with me?", he stated as fresh tears streamed down his face as he cried. He pulled out his phone and checked the time, he whimpered as it was 10:30 at night and he began to walk home.

About two blocks down from his house, Lincoln continued to walk until he heard a door open, a familiar girls head popped out as he stared. He then looked away and continued his way home, Stella sighed in regret as she closed the door behind her. Lincoln heard this and begin to pick up his pace as he walked through the door of his house and ran into his room.

This was brought to the attention to his parents and sisters who followed. They opened his door and saw him curled in a ball on his bed, his pillow soaked from crying. "Just leave me alone!", he exclaimed, the family jumped as they closed the door. The Loud parents went back to their room while the sisters quietly walked to Lpris room for a meeting.

Lincoln felt his phone vibrate on his bed as he picked it up and answered the call, not realizing the name that was above the number. "Lincoln... whats wrong?", a feminine voice said. Lincoln quickly realized that he was currently in a call with the one who just shattered his heart into pieces.

"That was the last time...", he whimpered quietly as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "For what?", Stella asked, "For having my feelings destroyed, I have had so many crushes, and apparently im just girl repellent because each time they manage to beat my feelings into the ground.", he choked out.

"D- does this have anything to do with what happened in town?", Stella asked, worried beyond comprehension. "Yes...", Lincoln said one final time before he hung up and placed his phone on the nightstand. He flet the emotional exhaustion overtake him as he fell asleep.


	35. Hiatus

**_Hey guys! Im going on a short hiatus for a while! And why do I seem excited about that? Well thats because I had just learned that my older brother Rylee is on his flight to return to the United States after 6_** ** _years in the Navy. I dont know when you should expect me to be back and updating, its just that not being able to see the guy who taught you to shoot a rifle for 6 years can really take a toll on someone, thank you for the support on my stories and be ready for whenever a story gets updated to signal im back._**


	36. A Return

**_No, im not. I have been annoying myself about nkt updating so much and how ive only read and not written. But i will be back soon, let me just finish up these chapters because every single story idea I have had stuck in my mind will get a first chapter, and all of my stories currently up will have a new chapter. Just give me time and i promise i will give you guys what you want._**


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